The letter to my mother that I could never write

Who knows whether it is permissible, in the afterlife, to go to the cinema. So that my mother can see the letter I wrote to her through this film. The message that remains every day in the hearts of older children. Where we write, with thought and words not spoken, that astonishment that was or was not, but will always remain in our love life, is a wonderful idea.

We had wonderful mothers and we didn’t know that as kids. They cultivate shaky pedagogical methods, hungry for guilt. My mother, for example, in moments of conflict, would say: “When I am not there, you will suffer greatly.” We didn’t want to believe it, because we rejected the concept of invisibility. Instead, of course, I did. How could it be otherwise. It was a glimpse of gratuitous ill will. On the other hand, grudges always tend to be free. But it was another world. My mother was quick but very loving. The irony was the convenience of any problem. At the first symptoms of adolescence, when one began to recur, with such sad allure and depth, my mother resorted to an unpleasant tool: I underestimated her.

Venice 78. Sorrentino and the Silver Lion: “It’s an extraordinary beginning for this film.”

As an adult, I understand. It seemed to me the only way. Zoom out. It’s not useful, but it’s hard to track down others. Today, children’s education is a message. For my mom’s generation, it was just another burden imposed by life. With that, it was all love. But I found out later. And when I got the words to tell her, she was gone. That’s why I like to think, with the ingenuity of a deep child, that you can watch a movie in the afterlife. To say what I cannot say. And for those who can, I have only one piece of advice: say it. At the cost of being silly, emotional, and full of tears. In order to grow up, it is necessary to pass through the doors of ridicule and tears. Adult crying. The only way for a mother to find in front of her is the wonderful child that we all used to be.

Venice 78, Paolo Sorrentino: “This film is my oasis of joy”